You Could Be Happy
by AandBreatheMee-x
Summary: Syed is in a state of depression after his counselling fails and he cant stop himself loving the one person hes not supposed to.I suck at summaries but please read anyway


**A/N I finally got around to writing a Chryed fic,not sure how I feel about this chapter and I dont know wether its too angsty or not but I promise the story gets :I noticed some mistakes in this so Ive changed it for the corrected know when i will be able to update but its half term so I have plenty of free time!**

The piercing ringing of the alarm woke Syed up. He sighed and laid his head back on the pillow, it's not as if he had anything to wake up for anymore.

It had been six months since everyone had found out he was gay, six months since his wife had fled town and six months since he'd made the biggest mistake of his life...Rejecting the only person he had ever loved.

Syed felt he should hate Christian for what he had done; he had nearly ruined the young man's life by turning his family and his community against him, and for a while Syed thought he could hate him, but he was back with his family now and realised that he could never feel anything but love for the other man, He felt empty without him, nothing but the shell of the man he was when he had Christian.

Syed didn't know what to do about these feelings. He'd tried seeing a counsellor, a man who said he could 'cure' him. He'd seen him mostly out of desperation, a way to stop the sadness he felt enveloping him at every opportunity.

He never told mum why he stopped seeing Allen, saying that he felt he was far along enough in the programme that he could do the rest by himself. The truth was that Allen couldn't even cure himself. he told Syed that he needed to sleep with someone else to get over Christian, He hated the very idea of it but if it would help him get over the pain of not having the older man around he was willing to try anything.

"ok,I suppose,but who? Will you find someone or..."Syed faltered as Allen put his hand on Syed's arm, making small circular movements.

They were sitting on Albert's bench at around 1 am; the sky was cloudy so there was nothing but the dim light of the street lamps.

Allen leaned in closer towards Syed's face "Why would I need to find someone Syed,when I'm right here" Syed was just about to give a confused answer when the counsellor's lips touched his own.

Syed pushed the other man away forcefully so that he nearly fell off the bench and onto the cold ground.

"What d'ya think trying to do"

"Kiss you what does it look like"

"But..!"Syed's protests were cut short however by Allen's lips pushing against his own again, this time much more forcefully.

"Don't worry, It's all part of the programme, trust me" Allen said, the man's breath smelt like a mix of cigarettes and something else unpleasant and the feeling of it against Syed's skin made him retch against the other mans mouth. The counsellor forced him down so that he was lying down on the bench.

Syed tried to release his wrist form the other man's grip as his hand snaked down his front towards his belt. Feeling the other man's body pressed against his own was making him want to be sick.

"Stop struggling, it won't take long and I can promise that you'll never want to be with Christian again once it's over".

Syed felt like crying, he felt weak but pushed the counsellor off him with very bit of strength he could muster and ran back towards his house.

Syed pulled himself back to the present; he was covered in cold sweat and had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Syed's encounter with the counsellor had only increased the hatred he felt towards himself every day. It had even made the young man consider trying to end his life again until Tamwar pulled him back from the brink. Tamwar was the only one who'd constantly supported him but his younger brother was hardly around anymore, He spent most of his time at his new office for a computer programming job he's gotten, leaving him alone with the emptiness.

It wasn't until now that Syed noticed the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. He swatted them away half heartedly and closed his eyes hoping to get some more sleep, a break from his own emotions.

"Pappu are you up yet, Breakfast is ready?"Syed opened his eyes again and made his way towards the bathroom; getting ready to survive through another pointless day.


End file.
